​Finally!  How many times have you said, "I wish someone would invent a shoe that makes it look like I'm barefoot when I'm walking on artificial turf?"

And thank God. I for one am not yet ready to deal with one of those legendary, harsh Miami winters.

Because when you think fresh baked bread, you think camels.

Great news for those of you who invested in Miami syphilis futures.

Only known image of the mysterious and unlikely love child of George Washington and Robin Williams

Great idea. Perfect way to section off your beautiful hydrant garden.

​Texas Style means they force the animal to watch while you eat it.

It's about time someone came out with a clothing line for the fashionable mermaid about town.  Excuse me. Merman.

Over 99% effective.  The difficult part, however, is finding their little mosquito penis and getting the darn thing on there.

​Can't believe I spent 4 brutal, mind-numbing years in high school and all that time a diploma was just a phone call away.

Medieval ferret advice for today:  Forks are cooking utensils. They are not used for eating. God has granted you natural forks - your fingers. Use them.

So which is it? The Manzier or the Bro?

Well I was planning to wait til after death, but who could pass up such an amazing offer?!